I AM SORRY ARDY….

Over the past year poor Ardy, the rubber duck, has taken a beating. Let’s just say Ardy in flight is not as easy to capture as one may assume. (Thanks, Noodle.) It has been over a year now since I bought Ardy and I felt I needed to make my apology to Ardy public. He has been a victim here…he had no idea what I was about to do to him as I paid $5.99 for him last year in San Francisco.

In Lucerne, Switzerland Ardy was attacked by a swan…(I almost lost him that day)….but thanks to Penny and a bunch of Japanese tourists….he was saved….

In Comrie, Scotland Ardy was attacked by a rooster….

And in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico he had his run in with a swarm of pigeons…

It’s been a tough, tough year for Ardy. He’s been thrown in the air without being caught so many times in order to capture “the Kodak moment,” he now has permanent bruises on his head.

The reason I bought Ardy in the first place was actually pretty random. My brother and I were about to start working on a short film called “Life Outside the Tub”….a film about what happens when rubber ducks are taken out of the bathroom and released to the wild. We had a couple rubber ducks we were going to use for the film but nothing really special. So when I was up in San Francisco visiting friends last March I thought it would be good to get some footage of a rubber duck and the Golden Gate Bridge….but unfortunaetly I had forgot to bring any of the ducks with me on my trip.

So as Anne, Saskia, and I were being OVER THE TOP tourists at Fisherman’s Warf I stopped by the World Market and purchased Ardy. As luck would have it…he was even better than the ones at home!! Perfect size…perfect face….just perfect. He would be the new star of the film…and his name would be Ardy (RD = Rubber Duck.) The next day, Anne had taken off back to Wisconsin and Saskia and I were wandering around the city in search for coke in a bottle (there really is nothing better.) After we finally found it and gulped it down like one of those 80’s commericals, it was time to go get some video clips of Ardy and the Golden Gate.

Let’s just say: Havoc Ensued.

Rolling our jeans up, we stepped into the bay and into the frigid water. Saskia was a trooper and got Ardy in the right spot as I held the camera, getting ready to record this mayhem. The individuals on the beach throwing Frisbees and tennis balls to dogs stared in shock at these two blonde girls standing knee high in the water with a rubber duck and a video camera. Oh and by the way…did I mention it was MARCH?!?!?! Nobody was in the water except us and a few Golden Retrievers. Ahhh…what you do for the sake of art….

So, Sas placed the duck in the water but something was really really wrong…it would not sit up straight. Defected rubber duck? No! There had to be a way to fix it. The solution??? He needed to be weighted down. Yes! We ran out of the water and searched for change in our purses. People were strolling by on this crisp afternoon with sweatshirts and turtlenecks, shaking their heads in utter confusion at these two girls running in and out of the water with a rubber duck. So we started the process of elimination of genius ideas.

1) Open up the hole in the bottom and fill Ardy with coins. NOPE. Still not sitting up straight.

2) Ahhh Floss! Saskia grabbed her floss out of her purse and tied it to Ardy. “As long as the string of floss is long enough”…NOPE.

3) We then asked the man throwing the tennis ball to his Lab if he would be ever so kind and let us borrow his ball thrower. (you know those rubber things that hold the tennis ball for the dog so you do not need to “throw your arm out”) He was kind enough to oblige without asking the question we were dreading…WHY? Running back to the water, we placed Ardy in the ball holder – yeah you guessed right….NOPE! The look on the man’s face when we handed him back his ball thrower was priceless.

4) So the only other option…GET WET….Yes, BRILLIANT! Lisa will get in the water, holding Ardy as Saskia records the shot. More control that way. Lisa will be “so deep down” you will not see her!! I mean the bay isn’t the clearest of waters.

One….

Two….

Three….

Four…

Nope…..

Awkward.

Well, after a near fatal accident with the video camera and us soaking wet on the verge of pneumonia, the shot had to be compromised. For the sake of our health we had to settle for a pseudo straight shot of Ardy…and I have to say that him sitting up straight like that had nothing to do with our genius ideas. (insert swallowing of pride here.)