A package arrived at my doorstep the other day. I’m not gonna lie, I always get a bit uneasy (in a good way) when UPS knocks. Good news or bad news, it doesn’t matter. The same pit in the stomach arrives.
I mean it’s THE UNKNOWN, right?
It’s like that feeling you get on Christmas Eve …”the what’s inside feeling” — but times 10. OK maybe times 5.
And it goes without saying, it’s always the generic brown boxes that make me the most apprehensive. What can brown do for you?? I’ll tell you what it can do for me, it can make me more freakin’ nervous.
When the package arrived this past weekend I was out of town so it sat waiting for me upon my arrival. There it was, the generic brown box, just itching to be opened. I picked it up and stared at it for a moment. I did the obligatory “shake shake” and listened…Nothing. No sound.
I looked at the return address. Again, very generic. Sent from Janesville, Wisconsin. I do not know anyone in Janesville.
I went through the common self-dialogue…”Should I open it?” “Yes, Lisa open it!” “But what if….” “Damn it open it.” You know, two voices one mind.
With a mix of excitement, curiosity, and utter confusion filling my head, I pulled out my beloved Grade A metal scissors and slit the brown packaging tape down the middle.
Holding my breath, I looked inside at the mangled tissue. What could this be? I unwrapped the tissue as slowly as I would open up my credit card statement over the holidays.
One, two, three…
Sweet!!!! I LOVE sharpies! (I am actually borderline obsessed.)
I looked inside for an explanation…a note from a friend…a chain letter…NOTHING.
Just a receipt.
BUT THEN – I looked at one of the Sharpies. OH MY GOD. My name was emblazoned on each one. Lisa Comrie. In Comic Sans.
Who sent this to me? Who? Who? Who? I need to know! Definitely not the Sharpie Organization (although Saskia and I once got a ride home from a party from a guy who worked for Sharpie. He ended up giving us the new metallic fine tip as a parting gift.)
And I know it’s not him. Well, 99.9% sure.
Over the past couple of days I have emailed a few people asking if they are the culprits. But I have come up with NOTHING.
So I am using this blog as an outlet to play Inspector Gadget. I am on a mission to find this Carmen San Diego and track her/him down. If you know anything about this. Please inform me.
As I was inspecting the Sharpies these two brothers, Butch and Victor Hillman, happened to be at my house working on the cable.
(Victor is on the left, Butch is on the right.)
I was curious to know what their thoughts were on this issue. Butch’s hypothesis was that Sharpie sent them to me as a promotion. A solid thought but I just didn’t buy it. I told him that it would just be too ironic that of all companies, Sharpie (one of my favorites) would send me something so personal. It just wouldn’t happen. As Butch and Victor continued to work on the cable we started talking about Sharpies in general.
Lisa: “What is it that you like so much about Sharpies?”
Butch: “Sharpies are cool and permanent.”
Lisa: “Right on, Butch. Right on.”
Victor: “It’s the grip. The writing ability. Their function. Their different styles. Fat tips all the way to the extra fine tip.”
Lisa: “100% in agreement.”
Butch: “I think they are great….they are universal.”
I couldn’t have said it better myself.
Case in point, Sharpies ARE awesome. I actually write better when I write with them.
So to whoever sent me the Sharpies – THANK YOU. (But please come clean and tell me who you are!)
And to the Sharpie Organization (in case for some odd reason you come across this post): THANK YOU as well for creating a superb marker that never lets me down. I have thoroughly enjoyed every punctuation mark, alphabetic letter, cartoon character and number I have written with the Sharpie Ultra Fine Tip since 1989.