I AM SORRY ARDY….

Apr 11

ardylajolla

Over the past year poor Ardy, the rubber duck, has taken a beating. Let’s just say Ardy in flight is not as easy to capture as one may assume. (Thanks, Noodle.) It has been over a year now since I bought Ardy and I felt I needed to make my apology to Ardy public. He has been a victim here…he had no idea what I was about to do to him as I paid $5.99 for him last year in San Francisco.

In Lucerne, Switzerland Ardy was attacked by a swan…(I almost lost him that day)….but thanks to Penny and a bunch of Japanese tourists….he was saved….
swan

In Comrie, Scotland Ardy was attacked by a rooster….
roosters

And in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico he had his run in with a swarm of pigeons…
ardypigeons
ladyfeedingbirds

It’s been a tough, tough year for Ardy. He’s been thrown in the air without being caught so many times in order to capture “the Kodak moment,” he now has permanent bruises on his head.

The reason I bought Ardy in the first place was actually pretty random. My brother and I were about to start working on a short film called “Life Outside the Tub”….a film about what happens when rubber ducks are taken out of the bathroom and released to the wild. We had a couple rubber ducks we were going to use for the film but nothing really special. So when I was up in San Francisco visiting friends last March I thought it would be good to get some footage of a rubber duck and the Golden Gate Bridge….but unfortunaetly I had forgot to bring any of the ducks with me on my trip.

So as Anne, Saskia, and I were being OVER THE TOP tourists at Fisherman’s Warf I stopped by the World Market and purchased Ardy. As luck would have it…he was even better than the ones at home!! Perfect size…perfect face….just perfect. He would be the new star of the film…and his name would be Ardy (RD = Rubber Duck.) The next day, Anne had taken off back to Wisconsin and Saskia and I were wandering around the city in search for coke in a bottle (there really is nothing better.) After we finally found it and gulped it down like one of those 80′s commericals, it was time to go get some video clips of Ardy and the Golden Gate.

Let’s just say: Havoc Ensued.

Rolling our jeans up, we stepped into the bay and into the frigid water. Saskia was a trooper and got Ardy in the right spot as I held the camera, getting ready to record this mayhem. The individuals on the beach throwing Frisbees and tennis balls to dogs stared in shock at these two blonde girls standing knee high in the water with a rubber duck and a video camera. Oh and by the way…did I mention it was MARCH?!?!?! Nobody was in the water except us and a few Golden Retrievers. Ahhh…what you do for the sake of art….

So, Sas placed the duck in the water but something was really really wrong…it would not sit up straight. Defected rubber duck? No! There had to be a way to fix it. The solution??? He needed to be weighted down. Yes! We ran out of the water and searched for change in our purses. People were strolling by on this crisp afternoon with sweatshirts and turtlenecks, shaking their heads in utter confusion at these two girls running in and out of the water with a rubber duck. So we started the process of elimination of genius ideas.

1) Open up the hole in the bottom and fill Ardy with coins. NOPE. Still not sitting up straight.

2) Ahhh Floss! Saskia grabbed her floss out of her purse and tied it to Ardy. “As long as the string of floss is long enough”…NOPE.

ardy11

ardy12

3) We then asked the man throwing the tennis ball to his Lab if he would be ever so kind and let us borrow his ball thrower. (you know those rubber things that hold the tennis ball for the dog so you do not need to “throw your arm out”) He was kind enough to oblige without asking the question we were dreading…WHY? Running back to the water, we placed Ardy in the ball holder – yeah you guessed right….NOPE! The look on the man’s face when we handed him back his ball thrower was priceless.

4) So the only other option…GET WET….Yes, BRILLIANT! Lisa will get in the water, holding Ardy as Saskia records the shot. More control that way. Lisa will be “so deep down” you will not see her!! I mean the bay isn’t the clearest of waters.

One….
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Two….
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Three….
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Four…
ardy4

Nope…..
ardy5

Awkward.

Well, after a near fatal accident with the video camera and us soaking wet on the verge of pneumonia, the shot had to be compromised. For the sake of our health we had to settle for a pseudo straight shot of Ardy…and I have to say that him sitting up straight like that had nothing to do with our genius ideas. (insert swallowing of pride here.)

ardyfinal

  • Anonymous

    You better watch out Lis…Animal Control…well Rubber Duck Control…may not be happy about this abuse, you know. {We do live in California…there are attorneys for EVERY category}Animate or inanimate…that has nothing to do with it!If it comes down to relinquishing your rights {I kneow, I kneow, it’s painful to think about} please keep me in consideration for numero uno spot on the foster care list, K? {that way you MAY pull off visitation rights…limited as they may be}
    On behalf of all Ardy’s out there…in bathtubs, bays and oceans alike….”may your head always remain above water and may the wind always be at your back”
    xo…DALC

  • Saskia

    Reading this, my first thought was, no it’s not possible that I took you to Fisherman’s Wharf. Then I remembered why we went… three words: license plate holder.

    And then you said, “Sas, I need a rubber duck.” And I said, “I know exactly where we can get get one.”

    It sounds like we were out there for about 30 minutes, instead of the hours that we actually spent coaxing that dejected duck to stay straight. Just us and the dogs. And I’d do it again RIGHT NOW.

    GFY,
    sas

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